What I’m Up To These Days

Life has been super hectic, so I’ve decided to make a quick post detailing the ups and downs of these last few weeks, for your viewing pleasure.

So, what have I been up to?

(Well, first of all, I’ve decided using birds is my motif for personal posts that get long, so there’s your warning.)

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Academically

Finals

Its final exam season where I am, and I’ve got a few more papers to finish (which I should really be doing right now) before I can have any real downtime this summer. Great news is I could hypothetically both classes without turning any of the stuff in, so, yay?

Responses

Unfortunately, I’ve also got some response papers for the special housing I was in for campus leaders, and the mentor ship program I was in because of my freshman, gay, trans status. I feel pretty bad that I haven’t tuned those in yet - they were both due last week - but I’ll figure it out eventually. I’m sure I will.

Focus

Turns out there’s more to my inability to do schoolwork than we thought. I’ll get into it more in my section on Personal things, but it’s really both shocking and something I’ve suspected for a while now.

Who said learning things about yourself isn’t fun?

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Personally

Crushes

I’m not normally one to put my love life on my sleeve, but I’m really happy about it right now.

I haven’t dated anyone since sophomore year of high school. It wasn’t a purity thing, I just couldn’t find the right person, which is fine. I’m not desperate to be in love.

Then, I met them. They were already a couple, and I didn’t want to intrude on that, but they’d mentioned being polyamorous in the past so I gave it a shot and (after much deliberation) confessed to them.

They told me that they’d always have me as a friend, but that the relationship was closed for now. They’d make sure not to make things awkward, and both were flattered that I liked both of them enough to confess.

Ultimately, a great experience. I still love them, but I respect them, so I’ve been sure to give them space when they want it.

Mentally

Well, first of all, I’m out of meds so that’s fun. But that’s not the wild part.

Turns out I have ADHD.

I’m one of those kids who slipped through the cracks and grew to adulthood without getting diagnosed until a few weeks ago.

Wild, right?

So I’m not stupid or lazy or anything like that - I just genuinely have a weird brain. Go figure.

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Physically

CW Medical Talk

Testosterone

I’ve started growing beard hairs!!

There’s only a few and I’m gonna have to shave them off when they get too bad (they look really gross atm) but after almost a year and a half I’ve finally got beard hairs growing in!

I’ve been dramatically stroking them in front of friends, it’s been awesome.

Top Surgery

I’ve been doing the scar massages (they’re really annoying) and my chest has been. Weird. But I’m working on it.

The more important fact is this:

I’ve never had bottom dysphoria. So, with my chest fixed, my dysphoria has been...

gone(???)

I haven’t spent every day staring at my body and being like “aw yea” but I haven’t felt bad about it. I just feel. Normal. Like how I imagine cis people feel.

What I want to share from that is this:

Keep your head up. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel - I’m there, and I’ll be cheering you on from it.

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The Future (& Questions)

The Future

So, yeah. I’ve got a job that starts later this summer, working with the Orientation team at my college, which I’m really excited for!

I’ve got a few more weeks home, and I’ll be going to a trans convention this summer too, so I’ll be sure to talk more about that afterwards.

I’m feeling pretty optimistic, albeit anxious, and I can’t wait to keep going and for next semester at school!

Questions

If y’all have any for me feel free to message me or comment em down below. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible - it can be about pretty much anything, I’m just happy to be here.

Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it might be for you!