My issues with the LGBT+ community

Hewo Froot Loops 🥣

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Table Of Contents

•Intro

•About this Amino

•About The General Community

•Final thoughts

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I finally decided to post this so I can pretend like I’m being productive with my time hahahah

Feel free to

respectfully

disagree but be civil.

:warning: Warning :warning:

This post is filled with strong personal opinions.

If you cannot handle that, do not read.

I’m not holding back or sugarcoating anything so be prepared for that.

I’ll talk about my issues with the LGBT+ community as a whole as well as this specific amino.

Pic not mine

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About This Amino

1: The Stereotypes

Not only do we deal with stereotyping from straits,

but we also have stereotypes within the community.

The feminine guys, masculine girls, weebs, mental disorders, Cavetown/P!ATD lovers.

This place feels very cliquy,

so does the general community.

However, it’s a lot more prevalent in communities like this.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing,

but when people don’t fit into those categories of interests and struggles I’ve seen others exclude them by calling them boring, avoiding them.

We don’t all have the same interests.

Accept it, don’t judge people on it and don’t try to shove people into those stereotypes.

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2. The polls

The, “help me cut/dye my hair,”

polls are annoying, but I can somewhat tolerate them I’m not here to talk about those polls.

My issue is with the naming polls...

I know I’m cis,

but this is *my* personal opinions post so don’t get riled up.

A name is something really special and specific to you.

Do you really want strangers choosing something that important to you?

One of the first steps to beginning your gender journey is choosing a name *you* want.

it can feel liberating to make that choice on your own.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t make these polls

OK

I’m just saying don’t rely on strangers to make decisions that personal/important for you.

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3. Gatekeepers

One of the hardest challenges I faced as an LGBT member is being shunned by other LGBT people.

Do not tell anyone what they can and cannot identify as,

that is not your call to make.

Don’t tell someone that their identity is stupid.

If you disagree with it at least have the courtesy of explaining why.

Better yet, back it up instead of going off pure assumption/feeling.

This community has somewhat made progress since I first ed, I’m happy to see it,

but we still have a lot of work to do.

We of all people should know what it’s like to be shunned and invalidated,

so for us to do it amongst ourselves it’s hypocritical.

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4. Mental Health

This it’s going to be a touchy subject for most, tread carefully.

I am so freaking Fed up with people:

•Treating mental health like its cool

•Invalidating other peoples mental health while wanting people to help/accept your own

•Asking for help then refusing help when people offer

•Self diagnosing

(Not by itself, but not doing research on what you claim to have)

•Constantly talking about it 24/7

•Pushing you’re problems onto strangers

(i’m not talking about online friends you’ve had for weeks months or years, I’m talking about telling someone you met yesterday your whole life story and mental struggles)

•Faking Mental illnesses and fake s**c*de attempts

(this is the worst one)

I’m not saying everyone is faking it,

but I’ve been around people who actually struggle with these things long enough to spot the differences between genuine and those who romanticize.

Faking it has consequences

not only for you but for the people around you who genuinely think something might be wrong and want to help.

Please don’t use it for attention.

Don’t ask people for help and then refuse it.

Don’t wish for someone you can go to and then when you finally have that refuse to go through and keep ignoring people who try to you.

Educate yourselves, be honest, be open to help.

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5. Extreme Shipping

My Friends on here don’t do this but I’ve seen this more than a few times.

People actually gets so invested in this.

I don’t care if you ship people,

just please don’t take it to an extreme it doesn’t need to go to.

Especially with anime, please, let it be.

Also don’t try to turn something that has nothing to do with LGBT into something that is.

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About The General Community

1. I Need A Partner...

News flash my dears, but no you don’t.

You especially don’t need a homo relationship to be considered Lgbt+.

You do not *need* anyone to be happy.

People confuse needing and wanting partner and it’s quite unhealthy.

If you truly feel you need someone to be happy, that is a little something called codependency.

Having a partner won’t truly make you happy, you’ll realize that if they’re gone.

it’s important to be perfectly fine on your own.

Having a hetero relationship doesn’t make you any less gay either

so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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2. Coming Out

So many people feel like coming out is the ultimate freedom.

Yes, it’s extremely liberating to it who you really are to others,

but not if it’s done incorrectly.

Before you come out to anyone, you need to come out to yourself.

If you’re still questioning or unsure of your label, don’t come out as it can cause confusion if you change your mind later on.

You also need to assess the pros and cons.

•Are your parents open minded,

•have your peers said homophobic/transphobic things before,

•will you have a system if things go wrong,

•is your physical well-being at risk if people find out

These are things you need to think about before coming out, you shouldn’t feel forced to do it.

Coming out is not for everyone,

it’s OK to live your truth and not tell the whole world if that’s what you prefer.

Please consider your safety and happiness before making the decision to come out.

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3. Fetish’s...

Holy shit do I have an issue with this one.

STOP. SEXUALIZING. PEOPLE. FOR. THEIR. AGE. OR. IDENTITY.

I don’t care who you are or why you think this is OK.

People are more than their labels so don’t make it a sexual thing OK.

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4. The LGBT+ Lifestyle

We’ve turned being gay/trans into a lifestyle.

While I don’t really have a problem with it,

I have a problem with those who make it their entire freaking life.

Yes, you’re gay, that’s cool.

You are more than your LGBT identity so please, please, stop this madness of revolving your whole life around it as if that’s all that matters.

The whole point of our causes to show people we are more than just our identity.

You’re not helping bye making it your life,

you’re just being annoying.

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5. Allies {pt. 1}

“Why do we need allies?”

“Why are they even part of the community, they’re not LGBT.”

I’ve Gotten into a lot of debates over this one, so let’s clarify.

Allies are not part of the community.

While they do us, I agree, that doesn’t automatically mean they are part of the community.

There are many definitions for an ally.

The most recent one I could find it’s very general and simple, the way it should be.

According to

Dictionary.cambridge.org

The simplest definition listed is,

“someone Who helps and s someone else.”

Nowhere in that definition, or any other I could find, does it say allies become part of that person/group by ing them.

People mistakenly think allies are part of the community because they are misunderstanding the difference between becoming part of something and being associated with said thing.

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6. Allies {pt. 2}

So i’ve stated allies aren’t part of the community, how horrendous.

However, I do feel it necessary to defend their importance.

Allies are absolutely crucial to our cause.

They are the middleman in hour cause.

They us while at the same time working to get straights to hear us out.

We wouldn’t have gotten very far without them.

Without their , there would be no middleman and would be a lot harder to get straights 2 at least see things from our angle.

We shouldn’t be hating on allies at all.

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Another thing, please don’t assume that everyone who isn’t LGBT is an asshole.

Nobody has to us if they don’t want.

As long as they respect us and let us live our lives that’s perfectly fine.

There are plenty of straights who don’t necessarily agree with LGBT+ values but still respect us as individual.

Unless people are blatantly hating on LGBT,

or doing that weird thing where they say they’re OK with it but at the same time being invalidating,

don’t come across a straight person and automatically assume they are an awful person for not fully embracing LGBT+ causes.

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Congrats, you’ve made it to the end!

Again, no hate to anyone who disagrees with my opinions.

Even if you don’t agree with everything I said,

still hope it gave you food for thought.

Thanks for coming to my totally not unoriginal Ted talk.

Enjoy the rest of your day/night ~ :purple_heart: