My Demons

Trigger warning: Death, Heavy.

My demons come out at night

When no help is in sight

I feel their hands wrapping around my neck

Choking tighter till I’m a wreck

I’m suffocating, gasping for air

While they mock me with their stare

And I’m not even fighting their hold

Staring into hell, all my stories untold

My past flashing in front of my eyes

All the insecurities I had to disguise

The thoughts go through my head

As I lay there in my bed

“Will I ever be good enough?”

“It’s no excuse that your life was tough”

Demons of shame, reminding me of my childhood

Telling me I didn’t do the best that I could

Every memory became an embarrassment

Every interaction evokes resentment

And the demons whisper how naive I was for wanting love

And I agree as I look at them above

If I wanted someone to hold

Should I have pretended to be cold?

Because that’s the kind of people I chased

As my identity they razed

And their whispers intensify

Pushing me to cry

“You let everyone take advantage”

“And now you wonder why you’re filled with rage”

They always suffocate me, till I feel numb

And let go when I’m ready to succumb

My demons are worse than death

Because I’m dead, but taking every breath.

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