Long Distance Relationships

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For years long distance relationships have always been thought to be relationships that just never last or succeed. Being away from the one you love and cherish can be extremely hard but does that actually mean you are destined to fail?  Before you make that decision, let's take a closer look at long distance relationships and what they actually mean and entail.

What Is A Long Distance Relationship?

A romantic relationship between two or more people who live far apart leading them to not being able to see each other regularly or often. If you live far apart but still see each other regularly, while it can be classified as an LDR, it doesn’t really have the same advantages and disadvantages

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Advantages

Believe it or not, there actually are some advantages to long distance relationships.

Individual Growth

The distance between you and your partner essentially forces you to become your own person/individual without your partner. Sometimes when two people are in a relationship, they tend to do everything together. There is very little room for growth and both individuals become defined by their partner. In a long distance relationship, you have time to discover who you are as an individual and in a relationship. You have time to think about your own values, your own goals, and your individual personality which is vital for making a relationship work.

Strengthens Emotional Bond

Currently there are numerous long distance relationships that break off due to lack of physical . It’s so important to note that sex should not be the glue that holds any relationship together, the glue should be trust, love, communiation etc. The amazing thing about a long-distance relationship is that it helps strengthen the emotional bond that goes far beyond the physical between you and your partner, because you have more time to talk to each other about yourselves and about each other. A long distance relationship nurtures communication and trust-building among other things. These two features are a must for any relationship, and they enable the relationship to run smoothly.

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Appreciation Of Time Together

It’s no secret that the more time you spend with someone, the easier it is to take them for granted. It’s so easy for people to get so tangled up in their own bubble that they forget to value and cherish their loved ones. Arguments can easily spark from one bad day which is normal but it becomes toxic when it happens frequently. Distance teaches you and your partner the value of your relationship, as well as a greater appreciation for the time you two get to spend together. You begin missing their laugh, their jokes, and their company. This makes you realize just how much you love your partner.

You Feel Invincible

Surviving a long distance relationship is like surviving the World War 2 of Relationships. After all of the hard work put in to making the relationship work, it feels like your relationship can survive anything. Once you finally meet, your issues will pale in comparison to the memory of your long distance relationship and the sheer effort it takes to maintain (financially, physically and emotionally). So knowing that you were able to get through it is a comforting thought, and more importantly, you are safe in the knowledge that life can only get better.

Tests The Love

Nowadays many couples break up as soon as distance is put in the equation whether  because of school or work. A long-distance relationship can really test and challenge you and your partner’s love for each other. To be willing to spend days, weeks, or even months apart is a great accomplishment, and in the end, it can bring much happiness when you and your partner are reunited again. All in all, a long-distance relationship requires commitment from both you and your partner to work. It requires communication and trust. There will be rough patches, of course, but if each individual clearly knows the reason why they are in the relationship and recognizes their common goal to share life together, then the benefits of the outcome will outweigh the negatives. If you survive the loneliness and make sacrifices in order to survive the long distance relationship then you will survive anything as a couple in the future. If distance does not tear you apart then you know the relationship is genuine and real. It is easy to tell if your relationship is based on love or lust.

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Disadvantages

You Can't See Each Other Everyday

Sometimes it happens where you have had the worst day ever and all you need in that moment is a massive bear hug from that special someone to make you feel better or just a shoulder to cry on. With your partner miles and miles away, you just hae to settle for a skype which sometimes isn’t enough.

Loneliness

There will be days where you will feel completely alone. You might find yourself wondering if it's worth it when you see your friends going on dates, moving in with their significant others, and making plans. You may wonder if that's ever going to be you, if you're ever going to get to live with your partner, and who will eventually make the big move.

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Drifting Apart

Sometimes it just so happens that you begin to drift apart in a long distance relationship. When your life starts getting increasingly busy whether with work, friends or meeting someone you new, you might not know how to break the news so you avoid your partner. Your calls and texts might start to become less frequent, and eventually, you might 'ghost' your partner or get 'ghosted' by them.

Long-distance relationships that end out of nowhere without any explanation can be very heart breaking. Chances are you'll want to know why things ended but you can't  go to them demanding answers. If they don't want to talk, it can be hard to force them since they live so far away, which can stop you from getting closure.

Beware The Catfish

If you're dating someone you've only ever met on the internet, you need to be extra careful. Unless you video chat the person, be aware that there's always a small chance that they might not be who they say they are. people can easily steal pictures from other social media profiles and pretend to be someone they're not. You need to keep your guard up until you meet the person face to face. Be wary of people that seem to be hiding something or situations that sound too good to be true.

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Tips To Survivng The LDR

Priorities and Stick To Your Set Schedule

Different work or school programmes, sleep preferences and especially timezones can all cause chaos in any couples relationship. When deciding on a time and schedule you need to think about a few things including questions like when are you at your best? When can you devote private, unrushed time to conversation? Who has the more flexible schedule? What feels like your most intimate part of the day — or the time when you crave connection the most?

Ensure the time works for you so that you don’t have arguments simply because you are tired and so on. It needs to be mutually satisfying.

Be Thoughtful

Because it is a long distance, you can't buy your significant other flowers or chocolates to make their day because of how expensive it can get especially with shipping costs. You have to find other ways to show them how much you love them. You can write cheesy and funny poems that make you want to dig yourself a whole and hide, you can draw pictures of your partner or whatever they like, you can sing for them or dance for them and record it, you can make an edit of them or even writing a post on amino. There are so many options.

If you can afford it then buying them a gift on their special days is also really thoughtful.

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Let Yourself Trust

I know sometimes it is hard to do this but you need to give your trust to this person otherwise it will never work. You can't spend your life constantly worrying about what your partner’s doing and if they are cheating on you. These thoughts will quickly become toxic for your relationship and for yourself.

You need to trust this person and if you can't then you need to figure out if you REALLY want this relationship or not.

Be Confident In Your Relationship

Insecurity can very quickly result in jealousy causing you to panic. You may start to excessively call and message your partner creating unnecessary tension. It will cause the conversations between the two of you to be no longer be fun or engaging, and it is downhill from there.

In a long-distance relationship, you have to be confident that your relationship will survive. You have to trust

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Don’t Waste Time When You’re Physically Together

When you do physically see each other after a long time, you don’t need to do anything fancy, all you have to do is spend as much time as possible with each other. Spending your night cuddling on the couch watching a bad movie might just be better than an expensive restaurant but this is purely up to you.

Be intimate with each other and not necessarily through sex. Even just spending the entire night talking deeply about everything and anything.

Accept That It Might Take Months Or Years Before The Big Move

You need to come to with the fact that your plans for the future may not happen for months or even years. And as hard as it is, you need to accept that. You can never be absolutely certain of the future. If they deserve a promotion at work or scholarship at school, you cannot get in the way of that. You both know you’ll eventually be together, it just might be a little longer than you anticipated. The easier you can accept that, the more likely the long-distance relationship will be successful.

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My Personal Opinion About LDR

I personally think that any relationship that you are about deserves a chance at a long distance. I personally would give it a go if I cared enough about the person. It’s a long complicated process which has high chances of failure but is not impossible.

Just follow your heart

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