Aight so before we start, I’m not questioning gender, it’s someone else
________
One of my siblings confessed to being trans…
Our parents don’t know because Catholic LGBTphobic, but sibling felt safe telling me.
I have a difficult time believing they are truly trans.
Before anyone comes at me for being transphobic, pls just keep reading.
________
Reasons for my doubts
My sibling barely turned 11. Is that not too young to be sure of something like that?
Our parents aren’t the most accepting of ppl, my own sexuality journey was a struggle.
This lead to me being homophobic without realizing.
I didn’t figure out I was LGBT til I was nearly 16
yet here’s my sibling at their age with gender and sexuality labels…
Sibbling never showed signs of dysphoria or general discomfort with their gender. Then again I wouldn’t know what signs to look for. They’ve always been extremely open about sexuality and asking me questions about mine
but the trans thing came out of nowhere. I am by no means an expert, but most trans people i’ve interacted with, the majority of which are my friends, have an air about them that my sibbling just doesn’t give off. I don’t know how to explain this, like the gay radar but for trans ppl? Yes this sounds weird I don’t know how to explain..
________
I just have a hard time fathoming it. Maybe my doubts are justified or maybe I’m just being phobic towards the idea like I was with myself idk.
i’m aware it’s different for everyone regardless of age and there isn’t a set guide for how to tell if you are the labels you think you are.
That’s why I need help to understand shit cuz um yeaaa.
I love and want to them ofc
I’m just scared of projecting my own insecurities from my experiences onto them and doubting them.
I don’t want them to feel alone and uned like I did, I had no one and they do have someone, me.
but at the same time I don’t want them to think they are something they May not be. How can they be so sure and casual about this? I just don’t feel it’s something to be taken so lightly especially at their age, or any age really.
so help me understand please and thank you 🥺
Comments (6)
I'm sure it's hard for you to personally even see because you know and live with your sibling as their birth gender their whole life. So it might be hard for you to unsee what you "knew" for so long. I think 11 is a rather older age. You could be start going through puberty at that time and that's when a lot of dysphoria will start to really be apparent to them as well.
11 does seem like a young age. Though, my journey started around there as well. (I'm 15 now.)
Now, labels may change, or they may realise they aren't at all. And that's okay. If it was strong enough to feel in the moment, it's valid.
I feel a lot of people are reluctant to acknowledge preteen queer youth for the reason that it might just be a phase or they might fall out of it.
But you are their trusted human, I experienced/exhibited behavior since the third grade that I look back on and just- sigh.
Just stay open, positive, and ive. No matter how many names and labels they go through. It helps so much to have even one person to turn to.
Well, I don’t think it to young to explore sexuality. When I was 8 was lesbian. I’m not anymore but my sister knew I was lesbian because my lifestyle was heavily influenced by her but she didn’t gate keep my sexuality and was ive when I started finding my own sexualities. This could be a starting gate for you sibling to find their own sexuality(s). It’s part of their young years they will mature into something they know they are.
There's children who know they are trans with like 4 years, a lot of the time they just don't have the language to describe it. In hindsight I can tell signs of dysphoria in my childhood that no one would have noticed because it was all internal, on the outside I looked just like a normal girl, I was very feminine for most of that time. I know it can be difficult, my sister (also 11) told me she is bi and I wasn't sure at first, but I think that sometimes kids that age know more than we give them credit for. I think the best thing to do is them and believe them. If you trust someone enough to tell them something like this, the last thing you'd want is to feel like they don't believe you or question you. Just them and if it turns out they aren't trans at least they'll know that you will be there for them no matter what. It's not like they'll start their medical transition tomorrow or something, for now any changes in names and pronouns are reversible, so it's not doing any harm.
You're right. 11 is definitely young. Just to be open and nonjudgemental. Even if they're not trans as in mtf or ftm, they could be nonbinary and feel uncomfortable with being CALLED a boy or girl instead of being uncomfortable with their body. However, that is not a choice you can make for them. Be the ive one in your obviously non ing family. It does wonders.