I Cant Help it

The following poem is from the book

Lotus flowers by Kasidy Bidelspacher

I can’t help it

I can’t help that your touch feels

Like flower petals softly brushing against my cheek

But it also feels

Like metal nails scraping against my skin

I can’t help it

I can’t help that I want to dart into your arms

But at the same time, I want to cower away from you and escape

I can’t help it

I can’t help that you settle my mind

Yet you shoot me it into a storm I can’t calm

I can’t help it

I can’t help that I want you to hold me and never let me go

Yet I want to push you off me and run

I can’t help it

I can’t help that you make my heart race

And you still break my chest

I can’t help it

I can’t help that you’re my safe spot

Yet you frighten every bone in my body

I can’t help it

I can’t help that I’m indescribably in love with you

And I still can’t open all the way up to you

I can’t help it, and it hurts my head

I can’t help it, and it exhausts me

I can’t help it, and it is killing me

I can’t help that I am this way

And it is not your fault either, my love

But with your help and care

Maybe someday I can help it

#bpd