Gender is fake.

Ⓖⓔⓝⓓⓔⓡ ⓘⓢ ⓕⒶⓚⓔ.

/thoughts based on personal experience

I'm convinced I've achieved peek androgyny.

What that means is that, in the same day, I get addressed with both male and female gendered .

Luckily, being a man(-aligned), I manage to be read more as a man.

My point is: gender is socially constructed. And I've never been more aware of it.

In most of the world today, gender is split into two binary categories: man and woman.

Everyone draws the line somewhere to put me into one of those two boxes. The thing is that everyone decides where to draw it differently. So the line isn't there objectively.

What separates men from women? Putting aside the strictly sexually prescribed differences (which are also constructed)... Men can shave their body hair and have long hair, women have body hair and can cut their hair short.

Women can have deeper voices, men can have curves and bigger chests. Both cis and trans men and women.

Clothing has absolutely no gender "objectively" (because gender doesn't exist "objectively").

A lot of cis people can get read as the opposite binary gender identity. What many people dont understand is that the lines are blurry.

Looking at people, and asking myself why androgyny is so rare and why most people can be easily read and put into one of the two categories (mostly cis people), I've come to the conclusion that they choose to present inside the binary. Not only that, but those of us who see them also tend to automatically categorize them further (that's how we read people's gender). I'm starting to think that, because of this, we don't see people as people, we see them as "males" and "females". And that just makes me want to throw it all out of the window even more.

A lot of people are put into pink or blue clothes as kids, from the very beginning. Clothes are heavily gendered; there are even sunglasses for men and women. Also jewelry, make-up, tattoos, body language, hair, hobbies... It's actually quite insane. Clothing stores, sports and public restrooms are segregated.

There is an average when it comes to male and female categorization, but there are many variations among people. We fail to see it because of gender.

It's part of the cistem, if you will.

And although I've been identifying as a man, I am aware of the fact that this is kinda fake.

Well, it's constructed so it's not "fake" since it's a reality we've created. But it's imposed onto us, by us.

I suppose that makes me kinda non-binary too. I identify with maleness (physical and social), but I also exist in my own right and manifestation without those ideas of maleness.

As someone who identifies with maleness, but was assigned female (and hasn't been provided the resources to alter his manifestation), I still strive to adapt to male gender roles to be read as me. That combination creates androgyny. However, if I was amab, would I still be androgynous? Or would I then conform as well because of the comfort? Right now, I am conforming to a binary gender too, only to the opposite one from the one assigned to me. So could we say my androgyny is accidental?

Am I conforming to maleness to distance myself from femaleness, or is it natural; me? Is it possible that so many people conform to a binary gender because it's natural to them, or because we were conditioned to believe it is.

But, if gender is fake, it doesn't really matter. Authenticy is what matters. It's only that the gender binary comes between us and authenticy. All I want to do is give myself space to feel myself as a person first. I don't want to be trapped by the gender binary. Ultimately, it hurts and dehumanizes everyone.

I just wanna add:

I think I've categorized myself as male because it fits the category well enough. It fits the mold, but the mold is constructed so fuck the mold. My problem was that I saw non-binary as a third gender instead of just... Someone being themselves outside the gender binary. Non-binary people can use whatever pronouns and present however.

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[photos are made with Canva]