About sexuality (and asexuality)

I'm keeping this family-friendly for y'all. I just want to clarify a few , okay?

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𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 is about your sexual thoughts, feelings, attraction and behavior towards others.

It includes all the ways in which people experience and express themselves sexually.

It is a broad term and one's sexual orientation is only a part of it.

Very often, "sexuality" is used as a synonym for "sexual orientation", but that's a more narrow meaning of the term.

Because sexuality includes not only orientation, but fantasies and kinks (non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies).

Sexuality is an umbrella term and a spectrum.

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𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 is attraction based on sexual desire.

There are other types of attraction like romantic, sensual, platonic and aesthetic attraction.

Although sexual attraction is mostly described as the desire to participate in sexual acts with someone, it's important to note that it is a physical attraction/reaction. It's the sexual pull towards someone, but even asexual people, who don't experience that pull, MAY want to engage in such acts for whatever reason.

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𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 refers to which sex/gender you are attracted to.

There are 4 main sexual orientations:

  × 𝗛𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹

× 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹

× 𝗕𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹

× 𝗔𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹

There are also romantic orientations (heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, aromantic...), according to the Split Model of Attraction which was introduced by the asexual community.

Non-binary people have their own for attraction to only one sex/gender.

"𝗧𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗰" is the attraction towards men.

"𝗩𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗰" exclusively to men.

"𝗧𝗿𝗶𝘅𝗶𝗰" is the attraction towards women.

"𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗰" exclusively to women.

Keep in mind there are gay/lesbian/straight enbies too, though. It's a matter of their own understanding of sex and gender.

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Why do I keep saying "sex/gender"?

Generally, sexual orientation is determined by the pattern of sexual attraction towards a sex (male, female). However, that's not all there is. It gets a little more complicated.

We are attracted to primary and secondary sex characteristics and gender expression (among other things) .

Usually, the first things we notice are the latter two.

Trans people can fall anywhere on any of those.

Hell, even cis people do.

And intersex people, regardless of whether they are cis or trans.

Here, sex and gender get a bit tangled.

One can have secondary sex characteristics of one sex, but primary sexual characteristics attributed to the other sex. (It can get even more complex.)

One can have more secondary sex characteristics attributed to one sex, but gender expression attributed to the other sex.

That's why I say "sex/gender".

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𝗔𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone.

Therefore, asexuality is a sexual orientation as well; because we can't say which sex/gender the person is attracted to. None. It's the fourth major category.

However, asexuality is even more than that.

There are many asexual sub-identities which makes asexuality a spectrum on its own.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗺 is a group of sexual identities that partially identify with asexuality.

Asexuality isn't completely cut off from sexuality.

There's still a lot of confusion and misunderstanding, and different people use different for the same/similar thing.

𝗚𝗿𝗲𝘆𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 can be an identity on its own on the ace spectrum (for someone who rarely experiences sexual attraction) or it can be that area between asexuality and allosexuality (confused with sexuality).

Sexuality isn't the opposite of asexuality, though. That is 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 (experiencing sexual attraction).

Allosexuality falls under sexuality, but not everyone would agree that asexuality does. I'd argue it's still part of one's sexuality because sexuality isn't reduced just to sexual attraction, and asexuality is a sexual orientation as well.

There are other identities that fall under the ace spectrum besides greysexuality: like demisexuality, lithosexuality, reciprosexuality etc.

On some sites they are incorrectly described as sexual orientations. They don't say anything about which sex/gender the individual is attracted to (whenever/under whichever circumstances that is).

One can be demihomosexual, demibisexual etc.

(asexuality, greysexuality, allosexuality)

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So, sexuality is a broad term that encomes EVERYTHING sexual, even the asexual spectrum.

But identities on the asexual spectrum aren't sexual orientations.

There is far more to sexuality than being queer/LGBT+, however.

A cishet person can talk a lot about their sexuality in relation to what they like, fantasize about etc.

There have been many questions going around like:

"Is ______-sexual valid?"

(animesexual, autosexual, sapiosexual etc.)

Are they real? I assume so, mostly.

Part of human sexuality? I think so?

Are they sexual orientations? No.

Are they LGBT+? No.

Many were created as jokes, I assume, but it really doesn't matter. They have nothing to do with us.

People can call themselves whatever in relation to their sexuality.

LGBT+ isn't the only community based around sexuality as a whole.

#curatorreview

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