I came out to someone and they promised not to tell my mother.

So I go to church still, we just have to wear masks and some people have to watch from a live stream we produce. I'm the person that works the tech and live stream to make sure everything is in the right place and there are people who do the actual service. In the tech room I had a panic attack and on of the who is extremely close to me asked me why I did and tbh its because of being two different people one for the real me and the me around my mother. I told her I've been really stressed and she then asked why again and I just let the floodgates go and explained to her that my mom had found out that I liked gay stuff and gave me books to read on how to change and straight answers to gay questions(that's literally the name of one of the books omfg) bullshit. She wouldn't let anyone from school whom she didn't know hang out with me. The only person not from the church I could hang out with was Casey.... she's12 years old. I'm almost 16. I don't have friends my age. The person I was talking to stopped me and told me she didn't believe the way my mom did and that God loves anyone with any love preference. And she told me that she accepted me for who I am and s me and that she would be there to talk to if I needed it. I literally cried because I finally found someone who I had a relationship with accept that I am pansexual with a high preference for girls. She is one o f the nicest people you'd ever meet. I feel a little bit better knowing I don't have to hide behind a mask in front of her. I'm more of a tomboy so alot of people actually think I'm a boy when I'm in the shopping center. But I am a girl I just have always had more guy friends than girl friends and adapted to the behaviors. I am also really good at wrestling, fighting, and self defense. I love martial arts too. But I do have a soft spot for little kids and shy, sweet type of girls. I just hope my mom never looks in my phone because if she does I'm screwed...

Well thanks for reading this thing an I hope you have a great day. Sorry for this long ass blog lol.

this is what I normally look like