This is a thank you post. I've tried poems and stories to tell you all how grateful I am, but nothing but this seemed right. So, this is a thank you for everyone.
This whole week has been.. well, to put it bluntly, an emotional rollercoaster. I've had several mental breakdowns, and it has not been good for my mental health. When I told the truth for the first time in two years, I have to it. I was expecting someone to be angry that I wasn't getting treatment.. but, you all proved me wrong. You showed me that you loved me, despite not being totally honest. Nowhere in my life have I ever known that so many people love me so much. It's unreal to me. I know it seems strange to some people. Strange that ya know, I constantly complain and have issues and I honestly do feel like a burden sometimes. I don't like making people think they have to do anything for me. That they have to keep proving how much they love me.
I'm honestly.. new, to people wanting to make sure I know they love me. And people missing me for even just being off for a few hours or a couple days. Honestly.. it cheered me up more than anything. I don't get love from anyone else in my life besides my family. And even then usually my mom is the only one to say "I love you" or "I missed you"
I don't think I deserve so much respect and love.
Hear me out! That is not the self loathing talking. I swear it's not. But today I was being gracious to a dear friend named Skelly here. And soon she and my new dear friend Kingsley were talking about just how amazing I was, and how everyone, including them, loved me to the Moon and back. All this other stuff. It made me turn red in the face, to be honest. Not out of embarrassment, but out of joy. With how many times I have to the bullies from my past, and all the crud they said to get to me, I have been asking my God for someone to tell me they loved me and missed me. A true friend. I asked him for a friend group that felt like a family, and.. I can't tell you how peaceful I felt when I realized that I have that friend group. And it's only expanding. All of you have been so kind to me, and I don't deserve half as much as you all do. You deserve everything you consider me. There are a couple people here that yeah, I don't get along with as well as others. Not anything less than friends, but not close friends. Out of respect, I ain't listing them.
I know I can be borderline mean with my judgements on certain topics. I know I can be annoying to talk to, or deal with at all. But you've accepted me in and you love me. I sincerely don't know why, but.. at the same time, I don't want to know why. Being loved this much.. it's enough for me. My heart and mind may never fully heal, but all of you help me be a better person. I am who I am, because I want to be that wonderful and kind person you think I am. You inspire me to be the best version of myself. And for that, I cannot ever fully say how grateful I am to all of you.
So, thank you all! :3
XOXO,
~Teddy <3
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