So yes I still sort of see shifting as an escape five years in.
Honestly I have a mostly positive relationship with shifting now and have managed to sort of separate the suckish feelings of life from the incredible idea of my dr (I don’t idolise my dr as this place with no problems, maybe because so many of my dr’s are places with violence like apocalyptic worlds :sob: ) which is really nice since there were times I’d cry myself to sleep (tmi?) with the desperation eating me up. Idk how I got so calm, but I know it’ll happen eventually, if not sometime during my life then after I die. But even though I know it’ll happen eventually, I’d still like it to happen asap.
Still, when certain things come up, like my father is entering retiring age soon and none of my sisters or myself have any money to ourselves, or just problems with the world (because I could vent about so much all day and honestly life is shit for most people rn) I feel a sense of impending doom. It motivates me, but it scares me so much as well. I wanted to ask how others deal with these feelings?
I also wanted to ask how others deal with this issue that I don’t know how to put into small words:
I’ve had a bit of a scripting obsession for a while, and although I don’t really have it anymore (like I never really feel the urge to script anymore ‘just because’ like I used to, I just like to lay out my thoughts because they’re way too jumbled and scripting gives me clarity on where tf I’m going) scripting is still something that’s important for me especially with dr’s that have whole entire plot lines and intricate power systems and such. I don’t really script for simpler dr’s (like waiting rooms). Now the issue is when I think about ‘locking in’ with shifting, I think about finishing my script, because that feels like something I can control. However whether or not I actually shift doesnt feel like something I can control, which is why I stall finishing my script or simply don’t do anything shifting related at all for long periods of time despite wanting to shift so badly. I always feel like if I tell myself all I have to do is finish my script and go, then I feel a sense of control over my situation. But if I finish my script and tell myself all I have to do now is set the intention to shift and go to sleep or say some affirmations and go to sleep or whatever else and then I do that and DONT shift it just makes me feel hopeless because I’m like well I’ve tried and tried and it didn’t work so what else can I do differently now?
Comments (1)
I feel like it’s a good reminder that, you have to realize, you’re shifting your awareness somewhere else.(you really are already there, maybe you have already shifted but don’t and these are thoughts that are scared because they want to stay with you, but it’s the old story)You don’t need to script, but LISTEN to yourself! If it feels more calmly and even “easier” to shift whenever you finish your script, then do it! What if, this time, you finish your script and you go to sleep without even setting the intent to shift and where do you wake up? Not here!!! What if you see exactly what you scripted? You feel like you’ve always been there?? Just keep going :heart: