ultraviolet rays

“there are moments in your life, moments when chances have to be taken. it’s scary because there is always the possibility of failure.”

imageSource

ultraviolet rays reflect off of the red cast of the sunrise. you can see them if you squint at the light bouncing off the nearly barren trees and lie to yourself. the leaves have bid farewell to their owner, weaving themselves into the fabric of the dirt, their lifeless bodies limp, pulverised by uncaring erby and crushed to nothing. i wasn’t listening; they did not make a sound.

the city is a cruel mistress; her origins lie with her bloodied heart, holding people the only way she knows how: using them to pump her frozen blood and leaving them wondering how their own hearts would ever beat again. i love her.

so too does the sun when it wakes and engulfs every building, filling stainless windows with light the way mediocrity hides itself behind color. but peel back the paint of the buildings and they'll bleed black, stab at the trees and dig into the frozen ground, and decay and worms and will stain your soul with excretion. mine reeks of impurity that only comes with knowledge.

for she has taught me everything—my imperfection is my salvation, that i am a somebody in a nobody’s facade but also a nobody posing to be somebody. i matter naught and so much all at once and the city needs me just as much as i need her. for all my heartbreak and cliche tears, i recognise home when i see it and mine is here, resting deep within the ground right next to my body; i am the city and the city is me.

my heart is my own and my home is my heart. but these foreign limbs trembling in the cold no longer look like mine, i am lost in the only place i was ever found—i am my own antithesis: unwilling to stay and afraid to leave. i am terrified of letting the wind carry me away from home and finding myself crushed to nothingness in the dirt.

ultraviolet rays reflect off of the red cast of my tears in the sunset. i am myself and nothing more. my steps have finally carried me away from everything i was to everything i may become. there is no sound here, but i am listening.

____________________________

#yourinnerstrength