Chapter 1: Old World Blues
It'd be just another day in the Republic of Dave in the capital wasteland. Boring, desolate as per usual. The irradiated greyish green skies with the greyish brown soil was out for as far as the eye could see. Here is where the Republic of Dave called home, the wasteland's only true bastion of hope led by a dashing young man named Dave. Dave is the perfect leader.
When he was a child, he never cried and his poop never stank. Dave had 8 siblings and he had made his own baseball team. That team, due to Dave's leaderships, was so good that the wasteland team was so scared that they never showed up to compete. Dave became fed up with the ways his father had led the nation that he left to go on his own adventures. The artifacts that he collected on his journey is how the Republic of Dave amassed such a wealth that they had, including holotapes and plenty of war weaponry. He traversed the entire globe himself, which is at least fifty tomes bigger than a normal globe. Dave himself personally got weapons when he personally went to China after the great war. Not only was he the worlds finest adventurer, he was the absolute best marksman, notes to have shot an apple off the head of a raider across the Potomac River. Finally, a crowning point in his life, he had personally slain a Deathclaw and even keeps its skull to this very day. Dave would return back to his father's Republic and took over, vowing to make it a better and greater place than it once was.
In the settlement that was the Republic of Dave, there was the Museum of Dave, the Republic of Dave capitol building, Republic of Dave men's quarters, Republic of Dave women's quarters, the Immigration Bureau, the Tourism Office, the Bureau of Dave-Like activities and a school. Its inhabitants include Dave, who is the President, Rosie, who is Dave's first wife, Jessica, who is Dave's second wife, Bob, who is Dave's eldest son and second in command, Rachael, Dave's daughter, Mary, Dave's daughter, Ralph, Dave's son, Flower, Dave's daughter and Shawna, the teacher and curator of the Museum of Dave.
On this day, Dave was out exploring the wasteland once again. This time he was searching places that he had already looked over long ago. Maybe there would be some food or weapons, or even better some ammunition, but what he would find, he could not have saw coming. In an old, derelict house that Dave had overlooked when he came around last time was a baby blue orb, emitting a bright light. Dave got closer, awed by its beauty and power.
"What the hell is this?" Dave said to himself, getting close enough to the orb to be able to extend a hand and touch it. Slowly, he'd do just that. The orb seemed solid and Dave would take it into his hand, though once he brushed over a part of the orb, it expanded. Dave, shocked, fell back. The orb was now a portal, like in those sci fi books of old. On the other side was a beautiful green meadow with a bright blue sky. Dave just stared at it for about five minutes before the portal closed itself back into an orb, falling on the ground with a thunk. Dave would get up on his feet again, bending over to gently pick the orb up. With it in hand, he traveled back home.
"Bob! Rosie! Jessica! You've got to see this!" Dave said upon his return. The three would rush out from where they were.
"Yes, what is it dear?" Jessica asked.
"Yeah, what is it old man? Bob asked as well, equally curious.
"It's a portal, this orb is a portal to another dimension. Do you know what this means? We could go in and take it over. We can expand the claim of the Republic of Dave." Dave said with excitement, "Bob, I want you and Jessica to come with me. Rosie, I want you to stay here and act as the leader while I'm gone."
"Me? Are you sure?" Rosie asked Dave.
"Yes, I'm sure. Bob, Jessica, are you two coming with me?" Dave asked.
"Sure." Both Bob and Jessica said.
"Great! I want you to get as many guns, food, building supplies and armor as you can get. Lets go in about an hour." Dave said.
And thus, the preparations were made. Dave made a speech, telling everyone that Rosie was the leader while he was gone and once that speech was over, Dave opened the portal. Dave, along with Bob and Rosie and all the guns and supplies, stepped in. As soon as they got into this new place, its beauty was apparent. Beautiful skies, animal life a plenty, and green grass. All of this beauty distracted the three from a more important issue. The guns they brought? It was replaced with a note. Dave was the first to notice.
"The hell is this?" Dave asked, astonished, picking up a note from the pile. It read:
"Due to concerns about this fanfic being able to trigger some, we opted to remove your guns. Yeah, I'm looking at you. You thought your plan was gonna be so clever, huh? Think again dumbass!"
Dave crumpled up the note and threw it with all his might. At least the rest of the supplies were here, as well as the portal-turned-orb. It was time to conquer.
Chapter 2: A Whole New World.
The next few days consisted of the crew of 3 building themselves a cabin and chopping down the local trees to make a log wall. One of the first things erected was a flagpole with the flag of the Republic of Dave. Two buildings, a new Republic of Dave t immigration bureau, president office and military HQ along with the other building, the sleeping quarters. It would be the next week when this Republic would meet its first visitors.
Three men, all dressed in ancient looking clothing of tan and green and sporting a very wide brim green hat thing approached, knocking on the gate of the Republic.
"Open up! We want to talk with whoever lives here!" One of the men said, "Don't make us break this whole place down one by one!"
Dave stepped out of his office and opened the gate to greet the three men.
"What could be the problem?" Dave asked.
"You are tresing on Earth Kingdom property. You will remove this plight of a 'village' or we will do it for you and take you prisoners." One of the three man demanded.
"Over my dead body." Dave said with a grin.
The three men took steps back and took a stance, lifting boulders from the earth before chucking them at Dave. Dave skillfully ducked. What was that? Some sort of elemental art?
Dave got up and once again dodged a few more boulders flying his way, before trying to focus. He would be able to lift some of the ground up, shielding himself from a third wave of boulders before he then focused, pushing the wall of earth at the three men. They didn't expect it and Dave sealed their fate, suddenly using a jolt of energy to violently and suddenly snap a piece of earth out from the ground which flung the three men. Dave was a natural at this art, just like how he was good at literally anything else. Some people call him Mary Sue, and to that he smiles and nods.
Dave knew now that he could do this Earth thing, that he would erect an earth wall around his place, as well as expand his small republic, making Earth housing complexes and the like. Over time, Dave heavily expanded and made his Republic exactly like the one had had back in the Capital Wastes, just more Earth-y. Dave fended off against patrols of the Earth Kingdom's men, and took in refugees whom ed his army. It wouldn't take long for this Republic to grow big enough to be seen by royalty. It was now a target, a target of a certain Earth Kingdom. They would send small detachments of troops to poke and prod. They were unofficially at war with each other.
Chapter 3: Kingdom Come
A few months ed. Dave was growing tired of these small raids. Dave needed to expand, he needed new land. Dave had an idea. By this time, he had amassed a small militia force. What if they were to invade an Earth Empire settlement near here and take it over, conscripting as many as they could to their cause? Yes, yes! A perfect idea!
Also during these months, they started to farm a lot at their capitol. This along with the Earth Kingdom's dislike for them had opened up trade routes with the Fire Nation who seemed to want to help them, if only to take out the Earth Kingdom once and for all.
Dave finally also learned that he could utilize Earth, Fire, Water and Air, something that he simply shouldn't be able to doo because if the Avatar's existence, but because Dave was just so cool and epic, he could do it too. He even mastered the art of blood bending from some person and was able to bend lava and steel. Truly he was the bestest ever that there was, no training even remotely required. Only idiots who waste their time writing proper characters with limits and weaknesses in their fanfics need training. Dave, the better character than all of them ever ever combined, doesn't need it one bit. He wast the best.
Dave organized his army outside the protective wall and marched them towards the nearest settlement. At first, they resisted but without much if any army on their side and with the heroic man that was Dave attacking them, they were forced to surrender. The Republic of Dave finally had it's first invaded settlement under control. They conscripted as many as they could to their cause before they moved on. Dave's army would conquer a large portion of land in these coming months, amassing a massive army. The Earth Kingdom needed to respond in full. Up to this point, they only gave small jabs and raids. Now, they needed to amass a killing blow.
The Earth Kingdom scrambled its forces into a few massive, sophisticated armies. They were to be separate, but close enough to each other if one were attacked, the others could arrive swiftly to help. Thus, four large armies were sent out to reclaim what was rightfully there. They outnumbered Dave's army 4 to 1. They rode out. It'd take a week or two before they would meet any form of resistance. A small army of Dave, more a scouting party than an army.
This party would swiftly retreat and inform Dave. In Dave's infinite wisdom, he would go out and meet all four armies head on. They were massively outnumbered. Dave made the first strike, flinging a large boulder into their forces before using bloodbending to immobilize those who dared come near. His army would slowly pick off the enemy as Dave carved his way through them, using each tool in his belt. The sounds of crumbling rock marked the sounds of war.
Dave ducked and dived under any incoming attacks, countering with infinite skill and power. Nothing could hit him, no matter what. The battle would be over after a few hours, Dave and his army coming out on top with minimal casualties. He took as many prisoners as possible and marched his troops onwards to the Earth Kingdom, invading and taking over any settlements they came across. Their target, the capitol. They were going to end things once and for all.
Chapter 4: Regicide
Soon they made it to the capitol under darkness. Their army stealthily infiltrated the walls, getting in and starting to take out as many guards as possible. The city panicked, gathering as many reserves and citizens willing to fight to take them on, but it was too late. Dave and his army had dispersed into several small groups. They had a plan to slowly make their way in and take out the ruler. It involved slowly carving a path through until.. Wait, Dave could just walk up to the palace gates and nobody could stop him. So, that's exactly what he did. No, I'm definitely not rushing this as fast as possible to get it out on time for April 1st, what kind of monster are you?
The guards trembled in fear under his aura. All it took was for him to walk in. They confronted the ruler and a battle to the death commenced. Dave infinitely ducked and dodged every attack, nothing being able to hit him no matter what! He went easy on the ruler, only sometimes getting in blows as to pad out the runtime of this chapter so I can get to the ending without seeming like I made some super short chapter. Move after move was tested against Dave, yet nothing could hit him and his awesome beautiful power. Soon, the fight was over and Dave reigned supreme. He walked out of the palace and the Earth Kingdom was his completely, because that's how it works and you can't tell me otherwise, or else you're criticizing my work when I didn't ask and I'll get all pissy at you.
Flags across the Earth Kingdom changed to the symbol of Dave and now it was time to conquer the rest of the world. There was one slight issue, he now had garnered the attention of Aang.
Chapter 5: The End
A month later, Dave was out conquering all water tribe lands, saying he would bring peace, prosperity and democracy, whatever that means. While traveling on foot on an icy cold path in a mountainous valley, he was hit by a sudden gust of air and hit the cold stone side of a mountain.
"Stop this nonsense at once." A voice, serious though sounding like it came from a child. It was Aang. He landed in front of Dave.
"You will stop this pointless invasion at once, or I will have to force you to stop." He threatened.
"Try me, kid." Dave simply said with a smirk.
Aang led with some firebending, creating clouds of fire at his will. Dave barely was able to get out of the way of the attack, though Aang was able to lash another string of fire onto Dave, scorching his arm. Dave retaliated, using some air to push the now surprised Aang back a bit, allowing Dave to regain his footing, before using earthbending to start throwing dozens upon dozens of pebbles at Aang. Aang was able to use some airbending to blast the pebbles away before jumping in the air to try and strike Dave with his staff. Dave tried to counter it with a burst of flame to Aang's chest, but Aang was anticipating this. Skillfully, he was able to get a blast of air off to both send Aang back a few feet and to try and burn Dave, though he wasn't burnt from it.
Now the two were multiple feet away, staring at each other. One of them had to make the first move. The sun was shining overhead and Dave had an idea. In a few minutes, the sun would be at the perfect spot to rightfully end this fight. He just had to defend.
Aang would make a move. He used waterbending to get some water from the snow to attack Dave with and Dave responded in kind, forcing up an Earth wall to deflect the water. Dave then pushed the wall towards Aang, hoping to get a hit. Nothing. Aang had used the opportunity that this created, as Dave couldn't see him for a moment to jump him. He managed to land a hit on his arm with his staff, but Dave managed to pull back and used some earthbending to throw him back with a rock to the chest. Dave fired off a wave of water to catch Aang off guard as he recovered, following that with Aang being flung by a rock, again, but Aang managed to use airbending to land safely.
It was time. The sun was in the right position. Dave moved his head, the sun perfectly reflecting off his bald head into Aang's eyes. He was stunned, dropping his weapon and getting on his knees.
"Bald! Bald!" He yelled loudly, trying to wipe his eyes.
"It's no use trying to fight me, kid. Even if I go down, my spirit is still with me and my people. I will conquer the world. My awesome power, beautiful look and epic muscles are enough to prove that. me, kid. You're obviously powerful enough. the right side of history to bring equality and the democracy of Dave to all. The Republic of Dave is forever, kid. Everything else is just temporary." Dave spoke to Aang as. a speech. His eyes widened. It was like he was trying to process this information at a million miles a second.
"You're right, Dave." Aang said, "I need to the right cause. Your epic and cool power is no match for me. I will you and the Republic of Dave. I promise I won't let you down."
Aang stood up and Dave and Aang hug, Dave giving Aang a few pats on the back.
"Good choice, kid." Dave said with a smile.
With that, it wouldn't take too long before the world was conquered under the rule of Dave. But just as soon as it started.. It ended.
Chapter 6: Epilogue
Kuvira, or better known as 'Vira from world 472' was a Kuvira who had the power of space and time travel. She could travel through all sorts of alternate dimensions, so much so that she was able to get the Thanos gauntlet with all of the infinity stones, a magic rug and a genie who guided them through their adventures. One day, while exploring some odd alternative universes, she stumbled across one simply called "Shitty Fanfic 269 universe." She had to see what was up.
Going into the portal to see what this universe had to offer, she noticed that it seemed to be ruled by a familiar face. A Dave of the Republic of Dave from the Fallout 3 universe. Weird. Kuvira was able to travel through this universe, smiting anyone who got in her way. It was, weird. Everything seemed as if it was written by some 8 year old who just learned what an rp was. It disgusted her so much, in fact, that she decided to Thanos snap the whole place from existence.
The End.
art credit: Dave's Hero Card from Fallout Shelter Online
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